12 March 1980
Why should you think of anything else than Babies and Birth? You lucky girl – we stupid men can never have that supreme joy and experience. Poor us. What you say of the land at Unadilla is so much in my way and veins. I have never seen it in snow. It must be beautiful…..What message did S___ deliver? I certainly never talked about you “giving up hope” – you need no hope, you are already “there”. What would there be to give up or not give up? Whether a thousand men come bowing, scraping to take part in the learning from and raising your great heir – what do you care? You will accept one or all as you see fit and if I ever had any message for you it would be awe and admiration.
By the way, do you know what stupid thing I did? Just after marrying Evelyn I went on an almost suicide mission to China, in 1949-50 when the communists took over and everything was civil war, shooting all over, escaped from Chungking in a “missionary” plane, bumped into a telephone pole we knocked down, but miraculously made it anyway – was away for months and came home, just in time to be the first to lift and burp our first-born, Bryn. How could Evelyn stand such idiocy? Of course I thought then as now I was saving the world – while Evelyn all that time had that greater mission: Carrying Bryn, and without my presence or support – until I came home, poorer than ever, nothing accomplished – and discovered the unique experience of being an assistant to a real mother…so you see how dumb men are and you may have to forgive them sometimes…no, I don’t usually talk to some one, I write letters – like you sometimes do. Name? I don’t dare propose. You know so much better. Alan is a good American name and also Allah (god) with an “N”ding. It is open, promising, all-inclusive, heart, mind spirit and enchanting body. Or Ellen or Helen or Ellaine if it happens to be the superior sex.
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